Posts Tagged ‘cattle fish’

It’s not a ‘what if’ anymore. It is actually happening. Half the time you are at a loss on how to behave, what to ask, what to say, how to respond.

Love is a weird feeling/emotion/state/ whatever it is you believe it to be. Why? Well because it transforms itself sometimes. Indulge me would you, as I explain myself….

Watching National Geographic a few days ago I ran into this episode; ‘World’s deadliest animals underwater’. I see this octopus; this particular one is a harmless eight tentacle creature yet to every one of its predators, it is a ferocious beast. The commentator called it ‘Octopus Prime’. Yes, I laughed too. So turns out, Prime (let’s call him/her that) can change color anytime it senses a predator nearby. Only it doesn’t transform to camouflage itself but rather it depicts the colour of that particular predator’s worst enemy. How flipping cool is that?!! So say a predator is deathly afraid of sting rays, dude changes into the colour of a sting ray. Say another predator’s predator is some brightly colored but super poisonous sea snake; dude turns into that exact same color. The guy has fifteen (I think) colour combos of this kind. You should have seen predators up to five times Prime’s size swim off tail (fin) between their legs (other fins?) in sheer panic. I’m sure they got home like;

‘Hun, kids (all 1000 of them) gather around while I tell you how I escaped death by a whisker today.’

That’s love for you right there. Depending on the circumstance or situation, it transforms into what you need to deal. Sometimes it’s nice; sunshine, rainbows and sugar plantations. Sometimes it’s calm; blue oceans, picnics and boat rides at the park. Sometimes it’s fun and harsh at the same time; like dancing in the freezing rain, jumping across busted, overflowing drainage lines and landing in potholes disguised as cute polite puddles. Getting home soaking wet because you did not carry an umbrella and Nairobi’s surprise flash floods just won’t let you prosper.

But sometimes…sometimes it’s fiery and fierce. It transforms itself into a flood of savage jealous rage; an insatiable feeling of complete loss of control. A feeling you try to tame but it ends up overwhelming you with such a sense of wildness that you forget who you were before they walked/jogged/sprinted into your life. Before they touched you and ruined how you touched yourself. Before they comforted you and you forgot how you would cry yourself to sleep. Before they kissed you and you forgot how single and satisfied you were. Before they talked to you for two straight hours at 2 am and you forgot how much you loved your sleep. Before they held your hand to cross the street and you forgot how to cross roads on your own. Look right, look left, look at the person next to you…wait, how does it go again? Before they watched you cry and held you so tight that you forgot how to cry into your pillow and use it to muffle the sound of your screaming. Before they made you laugh so hard you forgot how you need reruns of The Big Bang Theory to sleep. Before they let you into their heart, their world and you forgot to consider just how deep your two worlds combined would be. You are not that good a swimmer; Ms/Mr Not-Michael-Phelps.

Or maybe it’s like the Flamboyant Cattle Fish. A tiny, seemingly harmless, beautiful monster. This little guy has hundreds of color combos it can change into. This one too doesn’t use all these combinations for camouflage but rather for hunting. These little guys (they only grow up to a couple of inches long) actually hypnotise their prey with their colour-changing. The poor things don’t stand a chance. As they are stuck gazing into the cattle fish’ magnificence, watching the show of their lives, the finger sized sneaky bugger brings out its elongated tentacle (tongue) and the main performance is over in seconds.

Love is like that sometimes. It’s not always easy to find and sometimes (most times for some) it finds you. It is a beautiful thing. You bask in its splendor. You don’t notice it pulling you in. You barely saw it coming in the first place. You clueless little thing. As it drags you into itself, it might feel like floating in space, I think, I’ve never been, to space that is. You let it carry you. You are still aware of everything around you but it’s not an inhibition anymore. You are still you but there is something else, something almost intoxicating around you, in you. The world doesn’t disappear. It doesn’t feel like it’s just the two of you that exist. No, you are not that cliché. But it definitely feels different.

Then love takes you in, engulfs you, and swallows you whole. You die into it.

I wonder if the tiny little fishies feel any of it. Or do they just die peacefully gazing at the most beautiful thing they have ever seen.

I wonder if you felt it.